My Big Emo Room
by Aspirator
Summary: Maybe. JUST maybe she loves you too. There may be this tiny, minute possibility that she will be willing to dig you up from this darkness. SxS Sequel to My Little Emo Corner.


**Disclaimer:** [Sighh] Yeah, I wish. I really do. Then, I'd be pretty famous. But no, I don't own _Cardcaptor Sakura_ or the _quotes_. Not this time. Not ever.

Sequel to My Little Emo Corner. I do advise you to read that first. (:

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**My Big Emo Room**  
_-Romantically Hopeless-_

2. Too Early

So you're in your green spacious bedroom, slumped on the floor, leaning on the wall, and balling your hair in your fist in frustration.

All by yourself.

"_I used to think that__ happiness__ could only be something that happened to _somebody else_. Everybody believed,_ _everybody but_ **_me._** _And i've been __hurt__ so many times before that my hope was __dying__, _so sick of trying."

You know you've been in this position before, but it gets worse and worse every time.

The longer you're here, the deeper you drown in your sea of sorrow…and darkness.

You bet your friends at school wouldn't believe it. Syaoran Li? That popular jock, most wanted guy in school, got accepted into Oxford, him? Drowning in sorrow and self pity? Nahh.

But in all seriousness, you are. Even you realize it yourself. You can't take it. It's been two years already! _Two years!_

You clenched your fist tighter around your chestnut golden hair. You feel sorry for yourself. You really do.

You're here in your room moping over something that's happened _two years ago_ while your friends are either out partying or with their girlfriends or doing their APs. They don't want to fail.

But you? You really don't care. Not anymore.

You don't care about work Mother has shoved in your hands.

You don't care about that top school you're now attending.

You don't care about whether or not your basketball team wins in the next round.

You don't care. And yet, you're working hard. But you do it mechanically, like a robot, you don't put your heart into it…

Well, you don't really have a heart in that chest of yours anymore.

It's been stolen. You actually gave it to her. You wanted to. But you know it's too early.

She only saw you as a friend.

But you love her. So you lock that heart away…it's saved. For her.

You should move on. You _know_ that. You _tried_. **Already.**

And failed. You couldn't do it. It wasn't possible.

Because you only loved one person. And for that special someone…it was too early. You didn't want to shove it to her. You wanted her to be ready. So you moved slowly, slowly towards her.

"_At the __moment__, you don`t think__** much**__ of it, you know, we just_ don`t recognize _the most __**significant moment**__ of our lives. Back then I_thought,_ "There`ll be __other days__.." I didn`t __**realize**__ that was the _**only day**_."_

Exactly. You were interrupted. All of a sudden she just slipped out of your hands. It was Mother. It was the Elders. They don't understand.

It was too early to leave. You didn't even confess yet. She wasn't ready yet. **You** weren't ready either!

"_The __**best kind of love**__ is doing what's best for __someone else _even if it hurts_"_

You love her. So you let go. But you didn't count on breaking her heart too.

When you left, you wanted to be honest. You didn't want to lie. To pretend. To fake that everything's fine. So you were honest.

You weren't sure if you could come back. You weren't sure if you could call her and hear her voice everyday. You weren't sure.

What hurt you most was that she supported you. She smiled. She laughed. She was cheerful.

You wanted her to be depressed for once. Be weak. Show her feelings. You didn't want her to be strong, by herself. You wanted her to lean on you. To trust you. More than she did.

But she didn't.

And so you left. You would've stayed if she at least said just one word, or a sentence, or just one single tear flowed out of her eyes, or one angry shout for leaving her. Just one.

You were all by yourself. Now. And for two years. Two long, agonizing years.

You didn't even attempt to hide your sorrow. You know there's a camera in your room, and yet you still broke down. You know Mother only looked at the camera if you were failing. And you weren't.

You showed it in other ways too. You didn't play basketball passionately like you used too. Mother noticed, but tried to ignore it.

You wished she didn't, you wished she was that caring mother she used to be, before the Elders suddenly decided to take over. They thought they were doing what was best.

Yeah, what was best for them.

But for your family? They're tearing it apart. Father left because he couldn't handle it. He opposed the Elders.

And he was murdered. In an "accident" as they called it. They shouldn't even try to act sorrowful. You and Mother saw through it.

Mother was devastated. She became an empty shell. Of glass.

Beautiful, elegant, **cold**. No heart, no love.

You wished the Elders hadn't come. They ruined your family. Your life was great, it was perfect before they came.

They even separated you from your love.

They interfered with anything that you're too attached to. Maybe they just wanted you to become like Mother, a carved out stone masterpiece.

Maybe they wanted to put you in an art exhibit and say, "Yeah, we carved it, isn't it beautiful?" And get all the praise while you're just a tool they needed to attract all the tourists, and rob them of their money just paying to see you.

When you were small, no matter how good you did, they weren't satisfied. They said, "Hm. Alright. You're a pretty stone. You are. But you're still not good enough to our standards. We need to carve you."

You didn't want to be someone you didn't want to be. You fought to carve your own character, your own future. But they insisted. No matter what you did, they said you're still not good enough for the world to see.

So along the way, you gave up.

Then, you met _her_. She was the light to your darkness. And you began to be able to hope. To dream.

But they tore you away from her too. From all your best friends.

Now, as you continue to slump on the carpet and stare at nothing, you thought, maybe there is hope.

And just then. Your door opened, and by the light footsteps, you knew it was Mother. Groaning, you asked, "What is it?"

She sighed. She sat down in front of you. On the carpet.

Now that's new.

She said, "Xiao Lang. I'm sorry. Meiling finally brought me back to reality. I ignored all those signs. But now Meiling set one bright yellow one right in front of me. No matter how much I try to ignore it, it's still there, and it's still blocking my path. She went as far as getting those tapes of your room when you were here alone. I finally saw that you were living—-no, _drowning_ in darkness. I'm sorry."

You wanted to cry. But you didn't. After that speech, you grunted. So what? An apology isn't gonna dig you up from this darkness. Only one person could. And that person is nearly 3000 kilometers away.

She sighed again. Then continued, "Li Xiao Lang. I know you love her. Just like how I loved your father. So if you truly love her that much, go. Don't let me, or the Elders stop you. Go. Here are the tickets. And if you see Meiling, thank her. She deserves it."

She got up after leaving an envelope beside you, but paused by the door and said, "…and you deserve happiness too. I love you, Xiao Lang. Remember that."

After she left, you cried. You know she can probably hear you, but you let those tears flow down…well, for only a minute or so.

_"Every__ second chance__ begins with a _first step_."_

You quickly wiped those tears away and washed your face before grabbing your passport, your essentials and leaving to go back.

Back to Japan. Back to the place where you found hope, and happiness.

And the first person you wanted—-you **went** to see, was the one who stole your heart.

When you found her, you saw that her heart was broken too. And so you hugged her. You told her to lean on you.

And you were happy. Because this time, she did.

When she spoke through her tears that she loved you, you finally unlocked that safe and gave that heart you reserved for her, to her.

"_Mistakes__ happen, that`s__** life**__.  
__**Repeat**__ the _same_ mistakes; that`s __stupidity"_

You told her you loved her too. Sakura Kinomoto.

_You thought it was too early. Maybe not._

**~Owari~**

My Big Emo Room

_-Romantically Hopeless-_

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_**A/N: **Yup. My second one-shot. Maybe reviewing would be a good idea, hm?

Again, the second person POV writing style is an idea I stole from _My Hopeless Romantic_. She is an amazing authoress by the way, do visit her if you have the chance. Though, she only does Gakuen Alice stories.

**Update:** An extra sequel is up and posted; Our Medium-sized Conference Center.


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